Who Is a Mentor?

Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

~1 Timothy 4:11-14

  In my time in college ministry over the past two years, I felt called to mentor two young ladies who are, more or less, younger peers of mine.  Both of whom I have had some sort of long-term impact on them.  Before they went off to college and I left for my junior year of college, I met with them each a few times and talked with them one-on-one about life, what to expect at school, how to live out their faith in a public school, among other things.

  One of the girls I mentored had a trouble getting away from her parents who always seemed to conveniently plan meals and other events at the same time as our mentoring meetings... This annoyed me deep inside, but I didn't let it show.  Right before the summer ended, I asked vaguely through a statement, "It seems coincidence that there's always something going on when we try to meet," to which she responded, "Yeah... my parents don't think it's right for you to be my mentor... They think mentors are older people in the church who have been in the church for a while."  I was appalled, but at the same time not surprised.  I asked her, "Well have they asked anyone to mentor you who is older? Or have they encouraged you to find someone? Or has anyone asked if they could mentor you?" Knowing the answer, she just said, "Well no..."  I know she wasn't the one who had the problem, it was her parents.  I wasn't mad at her at all, I wasn't even mad at her parents.  Instead, I have consistently prayed for God to soften their hearts. 

  Mentoring is to be done by older Christians.  This is the old-church response to our generation.  While yes I agree that older folks in the church (actually, older in their faith, not necessarily the church) should mentor the younger people.  I whole-heartedly agree with this.  However, if this isn't happening, who is to step out and do it? ??  In today's generation (by the way, I am today's generation so I am speaking from experience...) you can't just expect us to take everything from church and keep it in our hearts and that be it.  We are the information age, and therefore we need the faith we hear about to come alive.  If the only way to do that is through teen mentoring, who's going to shoot it down?

  I am a Youth Ministry major and I have been attending a Bible college for three years now.  We are taught the survey of historical evidence in both Old and New Testament, we are taught the hermeneutical approach to the Scriptures (which most "Christians" don't even know what that means), we are made to take Book Studies, which means we spend a semester at a time going over a few particular books in the Bible intensely, we have chapel every day of the week, we set aside days during the semester to cancel classes and spend them instead in prayer, we are made to take classes on in-depth theology and philosophy that tests our faith, broadens our understanding of the world and world religions, and we are made to provide our service of ministry in a Christian setting to get practice in the field.  As far as the community goes, I have never been in one like it. Before coming here, I had never truly known what it meant to walk and live like Christ.  It blew my mind to come to a place where the presence of God is everywhere and you don't even need to be around people to feel Him.  We are a close family community that centers EVERY DAY around Christ's mission for us in the world, and it is so encouraging.  I wish this kind of Christ filled environment could be everywhere in the world.  

  Given that, I will also say that I have been a growing Christian for almost 7 years.  

What's my point to all of this?  I am just as prepared for mentoring ministry as a 50-year-old who has a faith as strong as I do.  Just because I am young does not mean that I am less capable to mentor than someone who is older than me.  There are plenty of older "Christians" who go to church, own a Bible, and pray before meals who don't know a lick about the faith they claim.  This is an extreme judgment of the old-church crowd.  

  So how did this all come up in a blog tonight?  I have been reading a book for one of my youth ministry classes (Evangelizing and Discipling Youth) and I have come to part in the book where it mentions the Biblical calling for mentors.  There are three kinds of mentors referenced with difference Scriptural references given, I will produce the section that got me:

1. Mentors for Individual Teens
1. A mentor should be a Spiritual leader (2 Timothy 2:2)
2. A mentor should be a mature adult who has been influential to the child (now a teen) for several years (2 Timothy 3:14-15)
3. A mentor should be a mature individual teen "peer" leader who lives righteously and uses his or her gift (2 Timothy 4:11-14)

(*Book: Tag-Team Youth Ministry: 50 Ways to Involve Parents and Other Caring Adults by Ron Habermas and David Olshine; excerpt found on page 23)

(David Olshine is my professor)

After reading this, it sparked the memory of feeling undermined by this girl's parents just because I am young.  If you notice the passage of Scripture I began this post with, the last part says, "Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through the prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you."  What is my gift? Counseling, mentoring, one-on-one encouraging Spiritual growth. Elders of the church laid hands on me to ask God's blessing on the gift given me to minister to youth and college students.  Because of this, I took seriously my calling to minister to individuals in the group including this girl, as well as others. The thing about mentoring is this:

We need each other to grow, young and old.

If someone is willing and ready to help cultivate a strong faith in your child, and they are a trusted Spiritual member of the community, AND it is their gift and calling, it should not matter a lick what age they are.  I was never mentored until I came out of high school, and it was a requirement to be mentored by my high school youth pastor in order to be the college minister.  No one took me aside to mentor me one-on-one, and I didn't know anyone who was willing and available to do so.

The church needs to stop living in the old way of doing church because I can speak from experience that they're losing my generation quicker than they think.  It's approaches like the ones I have experienced that have really turned me off to the church or hope of it ever changing.

  So who is a mentor?  A spiritual leader who play an active and influential role in the lives of teens, who also takes time to express an interest in helping the teens they influence grow in their faith. THAT is a member.  NOT an older member of the church.  NOT a younger member of the church.  NOT a man or a woman.  They are a person who follows Christ daily and encourages others to do the same.  Fo those of you who need the same encouragement that I did:

Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

1 Timothy 4:11-14