a not-so-elaborate call.

Before July 2009, I was in a spiritual coma. I had a super rough junior year of high school, and I decided to put God on the back-burner. In July 2009 I went on a youth conference trip as I did every year.  That week was very special to me.  God worked to meet me again and show me that He had not abandoned me as I had abandoned Him.  One night that week, my group and I were gathered after an overwhelming chapel and communion service, speechless and broken at our realization of what it means to be in Communion with God.  One-by-one people in my group started telling about all their struggles: porn addictions; being molested by a family member as a child; pot addictions; drug addictions hidden from parents; bad relationships; abusive parents; all of these things that brought us away from trusting God.  I remember looking around and hearing God speak to me for the first time in a long time: "Look around you. This is who you will be working with." And I knew it: I had received my calling. I would be helping teenagers in a Christian setting work through the many struggles of teen-aged life. This was it.

So I set off on a path I felt God guiding the entire time. I found the school that God would have me go to, and I started as a freshman in college with a major in Youth Ministry, Family, and Culture.  I thought that surely I was being called to be a youth pastor.  I didn't feel like I really wanted to do that, and often questioned why I would go to college for a program that would not really help me pay bills and student loans once I was done.  But I trusted God and kept going.  A few years later I felt that God had taught me all I needed to know from those youth min classes and felt that I was being re-directed to Psychology - the originally intended program I had in mind before July 2009.  I felt that God was re-directing my calling to something more along the lines of what I would want to do: counseling.  Maybe I was supposed to counsel youth and families, or marriages and families, or students at school.  Something along those lines.  Recently I have not been sure at all of what I want to do.  I haven't felt that any of these job ideas were really what I was supposed to do, but trusted that God would be mighty to align my passions with my calling in some way.

June 27, 2014: I am a leader for a group of high school girls on a retreat in another state.  I am familiar with who the girls are, and they are familiar with me, but we don't really know each other.  I am still new to them.  That night, we had a phenomenal speaker who shed beautiful truth about the way God designed marriage in His image.  When we got back to the hotel, I was getting ready for bed but happened to step out into the hallway before going to bed.  A girl was trying to get people together and I asked if I could help.  We got all of the high school girls together in my room and she began to share about herself, something she found so hard to do.  She shared about an addiction she's been struggling with with, and confusion that has been concerning her, but she had been too afraid to share that with the group for fear of rejection and being shunned by those who she was close to.  Quite the opposite though: the girls spoke to her assuring her that we love her and that we want to help her.  She opened up an avenue for a few other girls to share struggles and memories that haunt them.  And they ministered to each other.  I remember sitting on my bed with a few other girls listening to the beauty of burdens shared, thinking back to that week in July 2009.  I reminisced through those moments as if they were repeating again in front of me and remembered the words God spoke to me that night years before, "Look around you. This is who you will be working with." I smiled. And then I heard God speak to me again, in that moment. "These are those people." I shuddered and was in awe of what I just heard.  These girls were those people I would be working with.  These girls were those people I would be ministering to.  These girls were those who God was saving me for.  All this time, I thought my calling would be something so elaborate, so broad and general.  I would be a youth pastor with a large youth group; I would be a counselor with many clients needing my counsel.  No.  I would be there at the right moment for eight girls who needed the guidance God had given to me to give to them.  

That is my calling.  Not so elaborate as I thought it would be, but much more beautiful than I could have imagined.  No, I still don't know where I will be going a year from now, or what will happen with our moving process, or where we will be going to school at some point - if I'm even going back to school once I'm done with Undergrad.  But I know that where I'm at right now is where I'm supposed to be.  

Right here, with these girls.

So blessed.

| forgive and forget |

How often growing up did you hear a parent, family member, friend, or church leader say these words?

"forgive and forget - that's what we're supposed to do."  How many times have you thought,"that's just not fair; sure I can work on forgiving, but how can I ever be expected to forget about what's been done?"  You've been mad at your transgressors because of what they've done to you; you've been mad at God because you think He expects you to forget; you've been mad at yourself because you just can't forget about the pain you've gone through.  There's something you need to know: "Forgive and forget" is not Biblical.  Nope. It's not Biblically sound. Here's why:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him shall not die, but have eternal life." - John 3:16

God forgives the wrongs we've done, but He doesn't forget about them. That's why it was necessary for Him to send Jesus, His Son, to die for us so that God can forget what we've done.  God is ever present throughout time and space; this means that God is present with you right now as He is still present at the cross as Jesus is dying, feeling all the weight of the wrong things we've done and will do.  When we do something that is wrong and goes against God, Jesus is paying for it at the same time. God sees Jesus' sacrifice at the cross always and chooses to see the price Jesus paid for us than to see the things we've done that are wrong.  If God "forgave and forgot" our wrong-doings, there would be no point for Jesus.

What is Biblical: Forgive.  I will put it this way:

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." - Matthew 6:14-15

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:31-32

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”" - Matthew 18:21-22

"If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him." - 2 Corinthians 2:5-8

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” - Matthew 5:23-24

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Luke 6:37

All throughout Scripture, there are times where Jesus, the Disciples, and Paul have said to forgive.  The way to know that you have truly forgiven someone is because you no longer dwell on the pain of what they've done.  Certainly, you may still feel the pain, but you don't dwell on it (see Ephesians 4:31-32 above).  Yes, there are people who do something to you time and time again! You get so fed up with it that you don't think it's worth it to forgive them anymore.  Well, see Matthew 18:21-22 above.  We are encouraged: if you have a problem with someone and you haven't forgiven them, then your fellowship with God is half-hearted.  Before coming to God to ask Him to forgive you, actually work on your forgiveness of another, see Matthew 5:23-24 above.  Nowhere in Scripture does it say to forget.  Forgiving does not mean the action does not go without consequence.  If we are designed in God's image, and God does not forget our sins without Jesus to cover them, we cannot be expected to forget about the past and any hurt fastened to it from other people.  However, we can find comfort in knowing that who we are is not harnessed to the pain we have once felt.  We may not be able to forget it, but we can forgive it.  Forgiveness takes time; it doesn't happen overnight.  It is not Biblical to forgive and forget.  It is Biblical to forgive.

© Jessica Brazell 2014

{Trusting God}

Lately life has been uncertain for me.

I'm not sure what to do next, or where to go next, and my circumstances are changing rapidly.

This happens all the time though, and every time, the Lord has shown His faithfulness to me.

Each time I have struggled with uncertainty and I have not trusted God, things didn't go the way they were supposed to, even though He still used my circumstances for good.

Each time I have struggled with uncertainty and I have trusted God, He has shown His faithfulness and life happened the way He intended for it to happen.

God is faithful, and He always is; why is there a reason to doubt and not trust that He has everything under control?

We are stuck in this moment; we are stuck on this page of the book in life.

God is outside time and space; He is looking at all eternity as one big story in front of Him, and all we can see is today.  So why do we still doubt and have trouble trusting Him?

I believe it's a) because of our fallen nature, and b) because the only other beings we trust are human beings, and they fall short of our expectations every time.  So naturally, we believe that if we can't trust anyone around us, how are we expected to throw all of our trust at God?

It's understandable, as a human looking at another human.

However, God, being outside of our circumstances, and is already present at the end of our struggles, should not be doubted, should not be not trusted. You cannot say, "Trust God, He will provide your path and all that you need," but then turn around and worry about how you're going to pay for it, or doubt that you really know where you're going. You cannot trust and doubt God at the same time.  James says in James 1:6, "When you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."  When you ask God for help and for His faithfulness, do so and mean it. If you doubt God, you are easily swayed by the logic of man and by what the world has to say about your circumstances and who you should trust for direction. The authors of Proverbs warn us against trusting ourselves and the world with the very popular verse, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight," Proverbs 3:5-6.  So you may have heard that quoted to you before, but really listen to its message: don't trust your personal understanding of time and your situations, but submit to what the Lord is calling you to do, even if it looks reckless, because He will make your path clear and full of growth.  

If you can't trust God completely, how will you ever grow in your relationship with Him? He uses good and hard circumstances to draw us nearer to Himself, and the first step to growth in our relationship with Him is trust. Stop yourself from two-timing your trust in God: you cannot say you trust Him, then worry about what's going to happen next, or worry about what you should do, or worry that everything will go the way it's supposed to. We are not meant to be problem-proof and we cannot avoid hardships by making what we think are good decisions; we are meant to trust that God is already present at the end of every single circumstance, He's just waiting for us to trust that we will get there by His strength.

Trust God, do not doubt, even when times are uncertain.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

- Matthew 6:25-34 -

{Easter: Christ is Risen!}

Jesus is Risen!

Matthew 28:1-10

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Luke 24:13-49

Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.

He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”

They stood still, their faces downcast. One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”

“What things?” he asked.

“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”

He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.

When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.

Jesus Appears to the Disciples

While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.”

When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet. And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in their presence.

He said to them, “This is what I told you while I was still with you: Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms.”

Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”

John 20:19-31

That Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

Jesus Appears to Thomas

One of the twelve disciples, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), was not with the others when Jesus came. They told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he replied, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.”

Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. “Peace be with you,” he said. Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!”

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed.

Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.”

Purpose of the Book of John

The disciples saw Jesus do many other miraculous signs in addition to the ones recorded in this book. But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in him you will have life by the power of his name.

Our Great Commission

Matthew 28:16-20

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

...and Jesus ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of God.  He shall come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and His Kingdom shall have no end.

PRAISE GOD!

{Isaiah 53}

Seven hundred years before Jesus came to earth, the prophet Isaiah prophesied over Him and His sacrifice for our sins.  He told almost in detail how Jesus would be treated and how we would respond to His sacrifice.  This was the prophecy made over Jesus' life 700 years before He ever came:

Isaiah 53

Who has believed our message

    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot,

    and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by mankind,

    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.

Like one from whom people hide their faces

    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain

    and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

    stricken by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,

    he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

    and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

    each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

    the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

    yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,

    so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away.

    Yet who of his generation protested?

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

    for the transgression of my people he was punished.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

    and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

    and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

After he has suffered,

    he will see the light of life and be satisfied;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

    and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

    and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

    and made intercession for the transgressors.

{Good Friday: The Road to the Cross}

Last night, Jesus washed the feet of His Disciples.  They did not deserve to have their feet washed by the Lord of the Universe, but Jesus showed them love and the meaning of a servant.  Last night, Jesus and His Disciples had the Last Supper.  Jesus shared that He would be betrayed by one of them, and showed how His blood shed and body broken would make the way for them to have communion with God. This has been the promise made since the Fall of Adam and Eve.  Jesus loved them despite their doubt, rejection, and betrayal. Why? Because that was His purpose in coming to the Earth: to love us, to serve and not to be served, to die for us though we don't deserve such sacrifice. All this for us to have the chance at knowing God, face-to-face, without blemish of our brokenness.  This morning, Jesus was taken out of the Garden of Gethsemane after telling His Father "...Lord, if it is possible take this cup from me! Yet not my will be done, but Your will be done." And with this, Jesus sealed His fate, His purpose for coming to earth, and sealed our victory through His sacrifice.  All this morning, Jesus was beaten and mocked, and bruised, and spat on as He knew that taking this slow death was the price to pay for us to know God again.  Today, as we go about what we have to do God, who is all space and time, is experiencing His only Son dying on the cross right now as much as He is experiencing our greatest sins right now and experiencing our greatest joys.  Right now He is present with us as He is right now present at the cross.  Think about that.

The Road to the Cross

Matthew 27

Meanwhile Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

“You have said so,” Jesus replied.

When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor.

Now it was the governor’s custom at the festival to release a prisoner chosen by the crowd. At that time they had a well-known prisoner whose name was Jesus Barabbas. So when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, “Which one do you want me to release to you: Jesus Barabbas, or Jesus who is called the Messiah?” For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him.

While Pilate was sitting on the judge’s seat, his wife sent him this message: “Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.”

But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed.

“Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” asked the governor.

“Barabbas,” they answered.

“What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” Pilate asked.

They all answered, “Crucify him!”

“Why? What crime has he committed?” asked Pilate.

But they shouted all the louder, “Crucify him!”

When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. “I am innocent of this man’s blood,” he said. “It is your responsibility!”

All the people answered, “His blood is on us and on our children!”

Then he released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

The Soldiers Mock Jesus

Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

The Crucifixion of Jesus

As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it. When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. Above his head they placed the written charge against him: this is Jesus, the king of the Jews.

Two rebels were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

The Death of Jesus

From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.”

Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”

Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

The Burial of Jesus

As evening approached, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him. Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were sitting there opposite the tomb.

The Guard at the Tomb

The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate. “Sir,” they said, “we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, ‘After three days I will rise again.’ So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.”

“Take a guard,” Pilate answered. “Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.” So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.

Today, Jesus is hanging on the cross, being mocked and shunned and persecuted.  All for His love of us.Soon He will be placed in the tomb so that the Pharisees don't work on the Sabbath to bury Him. This was Jewish custom: don't do work on the Sabbath.  Jesus dies today and is buried, but He promised He would rebuild the Temple on the third day.  We have this hope to hold onto for now.

{Maundy Thursday: The Last Supper}

The Last Supper

Matthew 26:17-30

On the first day of the Festival of Unleavened Bread, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Where do you want us to make preparations for you to eat the Passover?”

He replied, “Go into the city to a certain man and tell him, ‘The Teacher says: My appointed time is near. I am going to celebrate the Passover with my disciples at your house.’” So the disciples did as Jesus had directed them and prepared the Passover.

When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.”

They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?”

Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”

Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?”

Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”

Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the[a] covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

Gethsemane

Matthew 26:36-46

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn't you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Jesus Prayed for You. And He Prayed for Me.

At the Garden of Gethsemane, Before He was Taken Away

John 17

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Jesus Prays for His Disciples

“I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

“I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Jesus Prays for All Believers

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

What more can I say than this?

{Maundy Thursday: Foot Washing}

Today is Maundy Thursday.  It is the Thursday before Easter during Holy Week that commemorates the Maundy (or foot washing) Jesus gave to the Disciples which was followed by the Last Supper.  This was one more reminder He gave to us as followers that we are here to serve and not to be served, just as He came to show (Matthew 20:28).  In those days, washing feet was a pretty big deal; think about the context of today: would you wash someone else's feet? And if you did, there's a high likeliness that their feet would probably be clean, despite wearing socks and shoes all day.  When Jesus lived on earth, people wore sandals.  No big deal, right? Well they also walked everywhere, for miles and miles, through sand, and dust, and mud, and camel poop, and goodness knows what else. Everything got on their feet.  The only thing their sandals were really there for is to protect their feet from being scorched by the hot ground.  Understanding this, their feet were probably pretty nasty.  It was custom that the host of a house would have his guests feet washed by his servants; this was just proper etiquette.  In John 12:1-17, we read that Jesus, who was a guest, and an honored guest, got down on His hands and knees with a towel wrapped around His and began washing the feet of the Disciples.  He served them in this way to show them that it is greater to be a servant, but neither servant nor lord are greater than the one God sent (Jesus).  If Jesus serves those who are not worthy, we not only serve Him, but serve others who we deem as unworthy.

At a certain point, Simon Peter asked if Jesus was really going to wash his feet.  Jesus replied, "You do not realized now what I am doing, but later you will understand."  Simon Peter, understanding the foot washer as being the servant of the household said, "No, I will never let you wash my feet."  Jesus then replied, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." Although Simon Peter probably took that as Jesus saying, 'then you can leave' or something to the effect, Jesus was foreshadowing His purpose for coming to the world. Unless we are washed by Him, we have no part with Him; unless Jesus is the one who covers our sins, we have nothing to do with Him.

Jesus came to serve, not to be served.  He came to live a perfect life, and to show us how to live in order to please the Lord.  He came to show us how to love God, and how to love others, and how to put others before ourselves in service. Jesus cleaned the dirt and gunk off of His Disciples' feet; He is the Lord of all creation and is worthy to be praised, and foot washing is not below Him.  This is one of the last examples of love Jesus portrayed to us before dying on the cross.  Take this to heart today, and really think about your purpose as a Christ follower.  Who are you choosing to serve versus who you ought to be serving?  Thank God for the life of Christ and the lessons He taught us, and love God by serving those God loves.

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

~ John 13:12-17

{Strength in Faith: Matthew 14:22-33}

"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.  Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.  But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

~Matthew 14:22-33

You have faced difficulties in your life, whether it was a relationship, the end of a relationship, loss of a loved one, hard times at school, doubt, lack of self-confidence, or anything that brings pain.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that you're not alone in these feelings.  Everyone has felt them.  In these times, though, have you remembered that you're not alone because God did not design you to be separated from Him?  This is the purity of how He made us to be.

Purity is not just being clean and white; purity is living according to our original design.  Our original design is to be completely reliant on God, to have communion with Him, and to love and be loved by Him.  Yet, we are fallen and when we are hurting, we still feel alone - a pain that's hard to overcome on our own.  We've created boats for ourselves to float in, unstably moving by the waves beneath it; even when we step out, we rely on our ability to swim, but still the waves are too powerful.  Why do we insist on doing things our way?  Even when we try to take matters into our own hands, as soon as we call out for help, Jesus will save us, and not let us drown.  We've never walked on water, and we will probably never have the ability to walk on water, but when Jesus calls you out of "your boat" in the midst of a storm, will you keep your eyes on Him, trust His strength, and do the impossible because of your faith that He won't let you drown?  Or will you look at the waves, the pain that's attacking you, and let them drown you?  Jesus always gives you the chance to trust Him; have faith, because you were designed to rely on Him.  When you rely on Jesus, you can walk above, and survive, all that the world is tossing at you, and you will have the joy of falling into His arms when you keep your eyes from looking at the waves.

Listen to this song; let it be a prayer for you today, tomorrow, and every time you feel you don't have strength.

{Meditation}

How many times have you listened to the sermon and forgot what is was about later on that day?  It's not uncommon for us to forget a lot of what we hear.  I remembering seeing a statistic about learning that went something like this: we retain about 15% of what we hear; about 60% of what we see; about 70% of what we discuss; about 75% of what we experience; and about 95% of what we teach.

In studying the Bible, I have learned that a way to learn what God wants to teach me is to meditate on His Word.  The Psalmist says, "But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night," (Psalm 1:2); meditation on God's Word brings our lives meaning: "Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer," (Psalm 19:13-14); and that meditating on God's Word is like a man rejoicing in his riches: "I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word," (Psalm 119:14-16).  Meditating on God's Word brings God glory, "May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the LORD," (Psalm 104:34). So if our goal is to be closer to God, why should we not meditate on His teachings?  Here are 5 steps that are helpful to me, and can be helpful to you:

1. Picture the Meaning - Ask this question first: what does this mean?  Ask God to help you understand the meaning of the passage.  Ask Him to show you what was going on when the words were first spoken.  Ask Him to help you find the answers He intends.  Visualize its meaning; example: "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be," (Psalm 139:16);  This means: God knew what my life would be before my life ever started; He knew me before I was born; I was created by Him with a purpose.
2. Pronounce It - Repeat the verse or passage a few times aloud.  Each time, try emphasizing a different word.  What impact does each word have on you, and your understanding?  What is God's intended purpose for each word? Example: "YOUR eyes saw my unformed body..." "Your EYES saw my unformed body...", "Your eyes SAW my unformed body...", "Your eyes saw MY unformed body...", "Your eyes saw my UNFORMED body...", "Your eyes saw my unformed BODY..." (Psalm 139:16).
3. Paraphrase It - Write the verse or passage down in your own words.  How are you verbally interpreting what you are reading?  Understand that you should not interpret a verse or passage to fit your worldview, you should seek to understand the appropriate interpretation that is intended by God.  Remembering this, paraphrase what the verse or passage says.  Example: "God saw me develop into a human being and saw the potential my body had to be in His image; before I ever existed and my days on earth began, He knew exactly who I was going to be, and what part I was to play in His plan for eternity."
4. Personalize It - Wherever there is a pronoun or name listed, replace it with your name; example: "Your eyes saw [Jessica's] unformed body; all the days ordained for [Jessica] were written in your book before one of them came to be," (Psalm 139:16).  What is God speaking to you through this?
5. Pray It - After you have thought about its intended meaning, say the verse or passage as a prayer; example: "God, Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.  Thank you for knitting me together and giving my life purpose.  Amen."  Say it earnestly, not repeating it back to God, but meaning what you are saying.

This week's challenge:

Pick a verse that you want to memorize, understand and apply.  Follow the five steps listed above every day this week, and memorize the verse.  Pray every time for God to reveal to you His meaning, and ask that it become your meaning, too.  Keep a journal, written or typed, that records what you learn each time, how the verse or passage has impacted your day, and how God has changed you because of it by the end of the week. *Remember, not all all verses are meant for reflective meditation (Matthew 27:5) unless your reason for meditating is to understand what was happening at the time it was written that made it so important to be in the Bible.*

Here's a song I enjoy that helps me prepare for meditation.  Our goal in meditation is to forget what the world tells us what the Bible means, and discover the meaning intended for us by God.  Try starting off your time in meditation singing these words as a prayer:

Lyrics:
"Holy Spirit, come and fill this house up.
Let Your love fall like a fire; consume us, Lord.
Come, Lord Jesus, let Your rain fall on us;
In Your presence, come and change our hearts to Yours.
We've come to bring glory, we've come to bring praise,
We've come to bring honor to Your Holy Name.
We've come to dance, we've come to sing,
We've come to encounter Jesus, Our King.
***
Living Fire, come and overflow;
It's my desire: You, and You alone."

Asking the right questions while you study the Word?  Find out here.

{How To Interpret the Bible}

    In my time as a believer, it has pained me to hear lies coming from the mouths of those around me.  What lies?  I have heard sooooo many interpretations of the Bible from so many different people; I have heard excuses and reasons as to why the Bible fits the lifestyles of so many truly unjustified people; and I have heard people say, "It's all about how you interpret the Bible."  That is not true.  You can't just interpret the Bible in order to fit your own lifestyle or worldview; it was written with purpose and reason - ONE purpose and reason - and that is to listen to the voice and breath of God speaking through His chosen divinely separated authors who wrote His words for us to understand.  While I am not a Biblical expert, I do have a few tools of advice I would love to share so that you can understand and apply what God is saying in His Word.

    Last semester, I studied in a class called "Hermeneutics."  Long and fancy word, you might say.  You might also be asking what that is or Googling that word right now. Well the basic definition of hermeneutics is: the principles of Biblical interpretation.  In this class, we are shown how silly it is to try and match our own desires, lifestyles, and worldviews to that of the Bible.  In some ways, culturally, this class was a bit of an adjustment.  But by the end of the class, the Bible is a whole new world again!

    When interpreting the Bible, many times you ask, "What does this mean to me?"  Good question, right?  Wrong.  By asking what a particular passage means to you is taking away the essence of God speaking to a broken world.  Instead, when approaching interpretation of Scripture, ask yourself two questions:

1. "What does this mean? and 
2. How does it apply to me?"  

In that order.  What's the purpose for these questions? By asking the first question, you are asking: what happened in this time period? What was the significance of [this place, or these people] mentioned?  Why is it worded the way it is worded?  What are the original meanings of this word in Greek/Hebrew?  By asking this first question, you are finding out what the passage actually means in its context.  Once you have done a wee bit of studying, you can go on to the next question: how does this apply to me?  

Notice, it's not "how can  I apply this to me?"  Interpreting the Bible is not about you and your lifestyle, or me and my lifestyle.  We need to fix this.  Ask how this passage applies to you?  Does it say, "thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor"?  Well what does it mean?  Bearing false witness means we are making up stories.  This passage means that [the audience - us] are to not lie to or about our neighbor.  In essence, do not lie.  How does this apply to me?  I should not start rumors about my neighbors, I shall not lie to them or about them.  I, in general, shall not lie.  See how this works?  There are more tools in the world for Biblical interpretation, but I want you to start off with these two basic questions.  They will get your further in study than you'll ever know!

I also want you to understand: no one is perfect.  No one.  At all.  The question of morality vs. immorality does not quite exist in the sense of us being human.  We are all sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God, as it says in Romans 3:23.  Although we have been given guidelines for "morality", we are still "immoral" sinners, simply striving to be "moral."  Don't feel that you are too imperfect to study God's Word - His Word was meant for those who are not too proud to be wrong.  However, that also does not give us the right to "be immoral" just because we are sinners, and God loves us anyways.  I hope that, as you learn more about God, you also learn that having a right relationship with Him means that you will learn to love like He does, and will surrender your whole life to Him so that He can change you for His good and perfect will.  

Please never hesitate to ask questions!!  Maybe I don't have the answer to everything but I would rather you ask and us search for an answer, than for you to search alone and misinterpret God's message to you.  I will be praying for you as you learn how to read God's message to us, and that you will grow in your relationship with the One who made you and loves you.

~Jessica

{Let Tomorrow Wait}

    It's the weekend!  It's Friday!  It's Hump Day - two more days until the weekend!  Oh man, it's Monday... here we go with another week... I can't wait for Summer.  When will it be cold out again! I can't believe it's only Tuesday!  I wish the end of school would hurry up and come.  I wish I could graduate sooner!  Yada yada yada...

    Any of these sound familiar to you?  I've used each of them before.  I have been in such great anticipation for the weekend, or for summer, or for cooler weather, and so on that all of my desires in this capacity are contradicted!  One day, I'm wanting to summer to get here because it's too cold outside.  Once I get a few days of sunny summer, I start wondering when Winter will be back around because I don't like the heat I asked for.  Once the weekend gets here, life seems to fly by and when I'm asked on Monday what went on over the weekend, I often times have to really think about it.  In this, I have been learning the hard way that time does fly.  And once it flies away, it's gone for good.  This is often a hard reality to grasp, and it's a reality that I wish wasn't so real.

    Think about all of those times you wish tomorrow would have come sooner.  What did you miss in all your anticipation of a "better" day?  What lessons could you have learned?  What people could you have spent better time with?  What things could have occupied your time?  Or is everything just a blur because you didn't care about the current moment as much as the next?  It's sad to think about it that way, isn't it?  That's the way you have chosen to live your life up until this point.  You have convinced yourself always that the next day would promise such better time than the current one.  That's a lie we should all know by now.  And look at what you've missed.

    God has been revealing this truth to me over the past few weeks.  He has shown me all the times I have missed with my family and friends that could have been spent better.  No, I wouldn't have had more time with them, but I would have made the best of the time I did have while I had it.  Now, I've passed that time.  I won't get it back.  And some people, I will never see again.  I have been learning a new importance and meaning of the passage, Matthew 6:34, that says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  When put in context, you read before that how Jesus says not to worry about the food you will eat, or the clothes you should wear.  God has taken care of every flower in the field and every bird in the sky - why would He care for us less than He cares for them?  He doesn't.  We are created in His image and He loves us more than anything else.  He takes care of our every need, blesses us daily, and teaches us new things daily so that we can be molded into the man or woman He wants us to be.  And still, why do we worry about ourselves?  Why do we worry about our comforts, and what we will be doing tomorrow or next weekend?

    We get so preoccupied with the idea of "something better" or the grass that's greener on the other side that we lose focus on all that has already been given to us.  We're always in search of that which will satisfy our instant need and comfort.  And yet Jesus has said to let go of that, let go of tomorrow; live for right now, live for today.  Open your mind, heart, and comfort to what God has to teach you right now.  Open yourself to the time you do have with those you love.  Open yourself to what God has blessed you with right now, and not what you hope He blesses you with later.  Each new day has new troubles and will never be any better than the last - you know this from experience, so stop looking at tomorrow that way.


    What can you do today at school that will make someone else's day go well?  What can you do at work to show what God is teaching you?  What can you do at home to be a servant of Christ?  How can you truly appreciate the moments of today while you still have them?  Once they are gone, they are never returning.  Keep that in mind the next time you are anxious on a Monday for the weekend to come again - will you pay attention to all the growth you'll be doing throughout the week?  Or will the deceptive weekend make you blind to what is truly important?  Then, when the weekend does come, look back at all God has given you from just the week; then you will be able to feel like time has been well spent.  Slow down and be thankful that it's Monday or Tuesday: another day on earth, another day to love, another day to serve, another day to grow, another day to be thankful for.