the first of the last.

Today was the first day of my last year of Undergrad. Wow. I remember the day I started college. 8am's every day, trying to figure out where exactly I fit it, learning that college wasn't nearly as hard as high school teachers said it would be, but at the same time it kind of was.  Every year since then I've continued a little personal tradition by wearing the exact same outfit on the first day of classes every year.  It's funny to see how styles have come and gone since August 2010, yet what I've worn every year has seemed temporarily timeless. This was a good choice, on my part.

As I've gotten to this day, I've had a few thoughts to occupy my mind. One of them being that I can't wait to be done, to leave this place, and to move on to bigger and better things. I want to be able to know where I'm going, not be confined by assignments and standards, and to live worry-free as far as school is concerned.  I don't want to have to deal with student loans anymore... goodness knows.  I enjoy learning, but I'm tired of being labeled by grade letters and numbers that are supposed to tell how well or how poorly I perform against "the average."  I want to have freedom to make my own obligations, rather than follow a professor's obligations.  I'm ready to also put into practice what I have learned in five years of higher education.  Almost everything so far has been theory, and very little of what I've learned has been application just yet.  I've always kind of been a street-smart individual, not so much book-smart like Frank is. I learn best through experience, kinesthetic learning, application, that whole thing. Understanding and appreciating the theory behind the action has been valuable to learn, don't get me wrong, but that's not the way I perform the best or understand the best or appreciate the best.

On the contrary, another thought I've had is that I think I'm actually going to miss being here. I'm going to miss studying hard for a tangible result; I'm going to miss welcoming in new students every year; I'm going to miss caf food - yes, I said it - because it means I'll have to cook more! I'm going to miss the resources available to me; I'm going to miss the hype and excitement of soccer games and cross country meets (even though I haven't always been the faithful supporter that others have been); I'm going to miss all that's right and wrong with this school.  I'm going to miss having the relatively "free" opportunity to learn new things about the earth and everything in it.  I'm going to miss everything I love and hate about being a student.

I think at this point, I have room enough for both thoughts. And then some.
Here we go, fifth year of undergrad. Let's see where you lead.