Thursday, May 29, 2014

stay brave.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing a great friend in another state.
We talked about a lot of things, caught up with one another, had fun.
It all started a feeling.
On the way to Jacksonville, I thought to myself: "I am no longer planning to go to Jacksonville; I am going to Jacksonville."  Once I got there and got out of the car, I had the same surreal feeling of, "wow, I'm not just planning it anymore, I am actually here!"  It was a pretty empowering feeling.
I thought through at random what else I have been planning for.  I am a super planner, and I love making plans.  If it was asked of me, I would find great joy in planning everyone else's lives, nonetheless, plan their days for them.  I get a thrill out of planning.  However, only about 5-10% of my plans actually follow through...  How many other times could I have felt this way, feeling like I'm actually doing something with my life, and knowing that I'm not just standing still?  Maybe to some people, this sounds like common sense, but to a lot of us in this world, we talk about all the places we want to go and all the things we want to try and things we want to do in the short time we are walking on the earth.  But most of us never really do anything more than just talk.  I have had quite a few times to leave the country, but each time, I have had some excuse - money, time, fear, etc. - that has prevented me from going out into the world and seeing it.  I have never left the United States.  {Thankfully I have a mind enough to know that America is not all there is, and America is not the best at everything}.  I have never experienced life outside of my own and it's made me even more fearful to go places far away.  I know that Jacksonville is a four short hours away from here, but it had a impact on my perspective of plans.  Why am I standing still? Why do I keep making these grand plans if I'm never going to follow through with them?  One of the goals I made for myself this year is to go out more and explore.  I think I'm off to an alright start, but I need to get out more, stopping making excuses, let God provide for me, and enjoy the world that's out there.  Money is no excuse; the car is no excuse; time is no excuse; I have the ability to do these things now, and while times may be tight, it should not stop me from experiencing what is here.  There are ways to have fun and not spend money; there are different ways to travel; there is a practice of "going with the flow" that I can learn to adapt.
Stop planning. Stay brave, and actually go.

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