Walking up to the Rooster, I felt the presence of God around me; it was like I was in a bubble looking at the world that frolics after degrading things that please man's eye. Even now as I sit here and type in the coffee shop, I feel like everyone sitting in front of me does not realize how hopeless they are - surrounding themselves with good and rich things that are clean and hard to get. I am not bashing on them morally, but as far as materials go, I feel that we are all the same to some extent. Everywhere, though, it's like there's something missing and people are just oblivious... But I can feel God right hear, surrounding everyone while they talk and eat and laugh and drink, and it's like He's sitting beside us like an old friend, but no one is paying attention...
I asked a few of my strongest prayer warriors to pray for me today in means of needing provision and discernment for the direction I am to be going. I will be going back to school in the Fall, by the grace of God. I will be getting married in January. Because of this, I will be an independent and a new rent fee will come casually into my life. I am called to Sweden. Frank and I are working towards a short-term missions trip to Sweden to start us out on our service in missions.
When I talked to Frank this morning about the surface of everything going thrugh my head, he told me how he felt after his time with the Lord this morning. Maybe this is a way God is telling us that things aren't going to go as we had originally expected. He provided for us different opportunities to meet each other, as well as provide some experience in education and learning more about Him. So we took for granted that this is the complete direction that we will be going in - started college, so we'll probably finish college. That's where we become human again: things flow naturally in our world, either one way or another. Each way life flows, we expect there to be a follow-siut. With God, He may take the beginning of a flow and redirect it, like train tracks, and give a 'mismatched' ending to our path. You will be accused by everyone around you of doing life 'wrong' or by making 'not-wise decisions.' It may not always make sense.
Maybe what we are called to is this: get a Bible certificate out of our Bible degree this year, get married, then go out into the mission field - go to Sweden. Work at odd jobs because He will provide and take care of us. But an encouraging word Frank said this morning was something like this: "I read an article from one of the missionaries in Sweden; he said that more missioinaries are making their way to Sweden recently (because there used to not be that many missionaries there). At first I thought, 'great, now everone's going there and we were going to go there...' but then I realized, 'God is orchestrating this... Sweden needs Him there, and He is preparing and sending...' and I feel that maybe God is saying that we have learned enough, we need to get our Bible certificates, get married, and head to Sweden..." And that is when the presence of God really hit me.
I looked up, and then looked at my hands, and I told God that I trust Him. My hope for His provision and guidance is there, and I know that He has always been faithful.
On my way to the Rooster, I remembered that a Sister worked at the coffeeshop and I prayed that she would be there today. Something I am so thankful to God for is the fact that He is in so many of my friends - He uses you all in ways that you will never know, I promise. And I felt God saying that I should talk to her, and maybe ask her to pray for me. I wasn't sure that she'd even be there, but I said okay. Sure enough, the first person I actually see behind the counter is my friend. It was really busy - they had a lot of good business in the eatery, and people were sitting everywhere. I still felt God. So I asked my dear friend if she could pray over me... And God was still there. Even in the rush and busy-ness of that crowded eatery, God was still there. And it was amazing... Now is the wait, the quiet before the storm - that is how my life feels right now. And I was reminded by that prayer in a coffee shop that God is above all, above everything that could stand in my way. If He has a plan for His kingdom and it is through me, then He will move mountains to make it happens. I was reminded that He is orchestrating my life, and He installs His teachings through many ways, and introduces me to people whom He has built for me (and others) to rely on. And in doing so, I am relying on Him.