long awaited letter

Hello friends, family, and readers who love keeping up with me!
Long time, no post.
Well I want to tell you that I have not lost my love and desire for blogging over these many moons. I have even made many drafts of things I would want to post at some point, and I have tested out the Wordpress blog engine once again. After months of thought about where and in what direction I would like to take my blog and my blogging time, I have made a few decisions. As those of you who may have been following my writing for sometime know, I have changed the face and mam of this very blog when I have experienced big life transitions. Well. Surprise, I am going to be doing so again. However, as I am no longer on a viable source for Facebook, and I am distancing myself from many people, places, and things, I don't want just anyone to have access to my life anymore. Without going into any detail or background for what I mean, I want to say this: there have been lots of big life changes in the last few months and so there will be some big changes to my blog as well. If you truly would like to keep access to my previous writings, and would like to stay connected with me and my family going forward, please feel free to send me an email saying that you would like to know my new blog address. This will not be public information, but will only be available to those who ask. Regardless of who you are. Big blog changes will be happening over the next month, and I think it is safe to say that by August 1, I will no longer be writing under this blog url address, nor this blog name. I am so thankful for everyone who has always loved hear in and reading what I have to say, and have stopped me in the halls of school and elsewhere to share your own experiences with me. This is a big joy of my blog life. I would love to keep this relationship with you. To those whom I have never met, I am thankful that you have seen my writing as worthy to keep up wuth, and I hope you have been able to find the joy that I have in sharing. So if you would like to keep in touch by continuing to read my blog, you can email me at thejessicalime {at} gmail {dot} com and I will email you back the new blog address.

If you have checked in from time to time to see if I have written anything new in the last few months - you are rock stars. Here is something for ya ;)

Love, Jess.

roll the bones || shakey graves

This is talent. I first found Shakey Graves with his song "July" shortly after we got married in 2013.  I listened to him from time to time, but didn't really get into him until he actually posted an album on Spotify. Now he is gaining some speed and I'm excited about that. Trying to get the hubby to get tix for live in March! ;)  So here is what I have been listening to a lot lately... Enjoy the one man band!

word of last semester: mindfulness

The word of last semester was mindfulness.

I learned more about what it meant to be mindful of my surroundings, mindful of what God was teaching me, mindful of how I react to external and internal conflicts and events, mindful of what food I am putting in my body, mindful of what effect each food has on me, mindful of what I was learning and how it coincided with my attitude and behavior and how I felt physiologically. I learned to be mindful of my presence around others and others' presence around me. I learned to be patient with myself, how to show myself grace, how to rest and relax, how to let go of unnecessary troubles and stresses. I was more mindful of the people I chose to spend my time with, and how our time was structured - or not structured.  I learned to be more mindful of the way my body reacts to stress.  I learned to be more mindful of what I was doing with my time, rather than planning what I could be doing with my time.  It was a semester of growth, and I felt that mindfulness was a term that was redundantly applied to many aspects of my life, and I was more aware of how frequently it was used, and in what context it was being used.

To be mindful means to be made aware. Aware of thoughts, feelings, motives, surroundings, desires, friends, food, senses, time, rest, grace, peace, work, God, life. How I am aware of these things determines how I carefully place my next breath, and to whom my breath belongs.

This semester, we will see what word is most prominent, and consistent. Here's to my last semester of undergrad!

dry bones

Ezekiel 37 talks about a valley of dry bones, bones who belonged to a fallen army of Israel.  God led Ezekiel, the prophet, to this valley and had him walk among them. Bones filled the valley floor. God said to Ezekiel, "these bones are the whole house of Israel.  They say, 'our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.'" God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones saying that He will bring them back to life, connect tendons to tendons, and breathe His Spirit into them again. Ezekiel does this, and he hears a noise. The bones begin to rattle, coming together, tendons connecting to tendons, breath of God filling them, and what were once dry bones stand before him, a vast army.

This calendar year has been a very long and stressful year. I call this year our year of change. The past semester, Fall 2014 was a particularly rough one for me, and for us. I used to be able to handle a lot of stress, a lot of running around, and very little time to slow down for myself. Not so much anymore. My body has started exhibiting symptoms of the condition of my mind and emotions as I spent most of the semester chronically in pain. Although I study the Bible at school, and truly have many take-aways from this semester in Romans and in Theology 1, I feel distant from God. I don't feel quite cut off, but I do feel close enough to being cut off that it spiritually hurts. Since school has been out for the last week, I have felt worn out, tired, and unsatisfied with where I am right now, especially spiritually. Last Sunday in church, I felt the spirit leading me away from the service to talk to me. And he did talk to me in a few ways that were only done by him. In this past week I have been pondering what I am to do to reconnect with God. Over the weekend it was made very clear to me that I need to retreat for my spiritual health. I need to spend time away from the world. I need to spend time away from what I'm familiar with, away from people, away from buildings, away from everything. In that time away I will be seeking Him.

It is not possible for me to up and leave and go to the wilderness for any amount of time, but there are small ways that I can distance myself from the world so that I can seek God again. Of those ways, taking myself off of Facebook, and not blogging are ways in which I will be able to separate myself from the distractions of this world. I'm not sure how long I will be off of these media outlets but I'm sure that once I am spiritually refilled, coming back to these things will not be the distraction they once were. I can say that I will most likely post something on my blog before I get back on Facebook. So if you are ever wondering how much longer I'll be away you can always check in here. In the meantime, if you need to contact me for any reason you can email me at jessica{dot}brazell{at}mailbox{dot}ciu{dot}edu and I will respond whenever I check.

So while I am away, please be in prayer for me as I seek the Lord's voice again. Pray that I reconnect with him and that I am able to be molded by what he has to teach me. My prayer is to rediscover my identity in Him, and to hear where he is leading me. However, please pray that if I am NOT shown my direction during this time that I still find satisfaction in reconnecting with him. Pray that my pleasure comes from knowing him and not from knowing my calling. Please pray that I find my rest from Him and not from my own strength. And please pray that I have God's strength as my strength to be obedient to him.

As I said at some point in the not so distant future I will post something here on my blog that updates you guys on what is going on with me. I'm not sure how soon that will be but you can save my blog address and be on the lookout, or you don't have to and that's fine with me too. I'm looking forward to this time that I've been given to seek God, to rest, and to heal from the semester.

A passage that the Holy Spirit has given me that I will be meditating on, and that I hope can help you as well, is Psalm 46. It reads: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the City of God, the holy place where are the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."

~Jess

california (cast iron soul) || jamestown revival

Happy end-of-semester, homies!!

my week in pictures and gratitude.

This week I am thankful for:

a hubby whose beard is magnificent riding into the sunlight

all the magnificence and glory of God displayed in the skies

the beautiful Broad River during my car rides

awesome drink mix

our new car whom we have chosen to name Jónsi

a bouquet of flowers from the man who helped us find the right car

and a festive school library.

One more week until Christmas break. a- 5 days.

Hang in there.

hallelujah || leonard cohen {remake}

This is the reason that Christmas exists. This is the advent season; the season of preparation for the coming of Christ, God in human form. All Deity of God, but within the realm of the human world.

Hallelujah.

thankfulness: my week in pictures and gratitude.

This week I was thankful for:

nummies for my belly

a well-hydrated plant named Bernie

a sister-in-law who did not want her picture taken

a brother who is home for a week... and the awkward entertainment we share

a picture of me and the sis that clearly describes our personalities

the lovely Greve ladies

colorful veggies and four thanksgiving meals

our own tradition of putting up the tree on Thanksgiving evening

Christmas tree jewelry

when all powers combine

a pretty tree with pretty lights

and a reason to keep hope in the consumer society.

Happy first week of Advent!

thankfulness: my week in pictures and gratitude

This week, I was thankful for:

Frank being back home

 my true identity

the completion of a 15-page research paper on olfaction

 hot dates

 pretty new scarves

crafty friends

and the closest thing we can get to an outdoor cafe at our school.
Also known as the newest attraction to CIU: the indoor waterfall.

thankfulness: my week in pictures and gratitude

This week, I am thankful for:

Lingonberry sauce that reminds me of Granddaddy Alborg and our Swedish heritage

Dunkin' Donuts brekky on the whim

an awesome hubby who gives his talents to praise Jesus

the ability to be thug with the one I love

the beauty of evangelical unity through prayer

morning fellowship over bagels and OJ

hot chocolate from lovely Grad friends

friends who put up their little Christmas tree on November 1

the same friends who set me up nice while the hubby is away making the dough

for God, who has never let me walk alone

Chik-fil-a dindins with the toe-truck driver

and for baby lizards who live in my mailbox.

What were you thankful for this week?

thankfulness: my week in pictures and gratitude

This week I have been thankful for:

Snow on my South Carolina windshield on November 1

Hearing stories of old from alumni

Beautiful evenings and apartment light ornaments

The freedom to vote

Being reminded that my body has been given boundaries that I cannot cross

Knowing that God is my strength

Friends who leave class to find me, take me to urgent care, and twirl around on the doctor's chair while we wait for the doc to arrive

A sweet and thoughtful hubby who gives me cards with puppies to help me feel better

A food journal that reminds me what I should and should not munch on

Makeshift tubs on the kitchen floor

Epsom salt baths

Dr. Ben

A beautiful backyard and campus

Drawing nigh to God in prayer and faith

A campus whose mission is to know Him and to make Him known

Red leaves and clear blue skies

And the weekend, the Sabbath, that was made for man and not the other way around.

Thankfulness, gratitude, is a gift to give and receive at all moments of life.

It turns everything into enough.

This is November, a month in America to be thankful for all things, 

but the practice shouldn't end on the 30th.

How have you been thankful lately?

mixtape | senior slum

This is the playlist I'm listening to in the middle of the semester.

It's the perfect mix of sound for school stress and homework.

Enjoy!

Songs:

1. Bilgewater || Brown Bird
2. Play It Right || Sylvan Esso
3. Oats In the Water || Ben Howard
4. Every Other Freckle || alt-j
5. My Silver Lining || First Aid Kit
6. How || The Neighbourhood
7. Filthy Dirty South || Rising Appalachia
8. Breezeblocks || alt-j
9. Hey Mami || Sylvan Esso
10. Stay Gold || First Aid Kit
11. The Wolves || Ben Howard
12. Sweater Weather || The Neighbourhood
13. Down To the River || Brown Bird
14. Wolf || First Aid Kit
15. Occupy || Rising Appalachia
16. Fitzpleasure || alt-j

Dear Nathan,

Dear Nathan,

I talked to you on the phone the other day and it was great.  I still laugh when I think of the tandem bike you and your roommate bought, whom you have chosen to call Sheila. I laugh at your story of telling your teach' that you had Sheila chained up outside. You are proof that a funny bone that doesn't hurt exists.  I'm still getting on Frank to write his letter to you; he's already eaten the Buffalo jerky we got for you, but I'll get you some more.  And truth be told, I ate the dried mangoes we got for you. But every time I get a Reese's peanut butter cup, I only eat half of it so that I can give the other half to you ;)

Other than that, we have both been ready for me to be done with school. It looks like I will be in school, technically, until next August. Bleh. But on the A-side, Frank and I are happily playing with the diea of taking a few years off before we go back to school. So that's pretty nice.

The other evening I was thinking of you when I pulled out my French-English dictionary that you gave me many years ago.  I was looking up a word or two from a phrase I heard in a song, and I couldn't help but remember when you gave this to me. You got it for me, so selflessly, from your school's book fair, despite everything going on in your life at that time.  You got it for me because you knew I was taking French in high school and thought I'd like it to keep my French up once I graduated.  You are the sweetest brother ever, no matter what. And I love you no matter what.

Dear sweet brother, I hope you have an excellent week, and Frank and I can't wait to see you for Thanksgiving.

Love,
Jessica

purposeful: activity

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is a health science class.  It's not quite what I've expected it to be, but it's not bad.  Something I've learned to be more mindful of is purposeful activity. At first we discussed that purposeful activity [in our minds] was activity that included multi-tasking. For instance: walking while talking to a friend. These kinds of multi-activities are not bad. They're very good. But what she was implying was that there's activity that we have a chance to do daily that we pass up regularly due to our society of efficiency.  In grasping this mindset, I've been more mindful of the activity I choose to do daily.  This looks like: opening the automatic door with my hand instead of the handicapped button; walking the quarter mile through the woods to get to class rather than driving a mile around to get there; and not taking shortcuts to get chores done. All these opportunities to use the muscles and ligaments, perfectly put into place, are often passed by in our very lazy society.

On another side of the coin, there can be purpose in every action done. As I've mentioned already, Adlerian therapists have this idea that every action has a purpose; if you file a paper in the wrong folder, there was a purpose for it.  It's a little outlandish, honestly.  But I can agree with the principle that you can give purpose to what you do.  When you are mindful of where you are going, of how you are stepping, of what you think about while you're going there, of who you are speaking to, of how you are speaking to them, of your body language while you are speaking and listening - you can really absorb every moment you live.  You can give a purpose to the way you are around others; you can give a purpose to the way you choose to carry yourself.  Purpose can be found in or given to any action or word that departs your body; be mindful of that purpose.

fair weather.

Saturday was our designated date night for the week.

It was the Saturday of my desperately needed Fall break, and this was our chance to relax and have fun (because when you're a student with 19 credit hours, 15 hours of work, Senate rep, and a wife, even fun can be exhausting).

We:

ate chocolate dipped ice cream

ate a Chicago-style Polish sausage and veggie gyro

viewed the beautiful hand-made crafts

looked at all the art work

oogled over the homemade wine selection winners

pet cows {Frank actually pet one this year!}

spent lots of time with the bunnies - that was our favorite part

I got to pet a bunny

braved a chairlift

{we thought that would be the least scariest thing to ride, but it was not...}

viewed the beautiful world at night from the lift

and enjoyed being South Carolinians on the fair 70-degree, clear night at the fair.

Can't wait 'til next year!