The Effects of Prayer and Fashion

Sent By Ravens
the effects of fashion and prayer

  Now, the statement my title makes is almost an insight to the "Christian" world I live in here in America.  Coined by a great band,  Sent By Ravens, I have borrowed the title from their "Effects of Fashion and Prayer" only reversed - to make my point.  I have adopted this title to express the way I feel about what I've seen around me lately, as well as the descriptor for the way my heart feels now.

  As a beginner, effects are the results of a cause; something that happens because of a prior event.  Such events can be, but are not exclusive to, relationships, friendships, socializing, concerts, driving, etc.  So to begin with prayer...

Prayer: our personal phone call to God.

Prayer

Relying on God is something that is becoming more obsolete as time goes on.  We, as a people of earth, find that it's easier to rely on ourselves and then put God's name in front of our success so that it appears that we have such a relationship with the Lord.  When we actually hand every aspect of our lives over to God, even if it's one-by-one, we truly grow to understand the work of God's hand over our life.  Lately, I have witnessed this to my own mom as encouragement for what is going on in her own life.  Taking her life and choices to the Lord in prayer, she has shared with me how she has seen the God truly works in her life when she trusts Him.  Knowing that God's hand is constantly in her life is such a satisfying relief to me!

As far as prayer goes for me, I have experienced the verse in Romans 8:26 which says: "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."  I have a hard time collecting my thoughts sometimes when I'm talking to people and I try not to let it show while I talk.  Unfortunately, I have a hard time thinking of what words to bring to God in prayer and I know in my head what I want to ask for but my spirit cannot put it to words.  When these things happen, I usually end up saying something like, "God, you know what's on my heart right now; please take care of it - I don't even know what I want to ask you..."  Not such a great idea, Jessica... Charles and John Wesley have both said before: "God does nothing without prayer."  Jesus encouraged us to pray for everything, as well as Paul encouraged us to constantly pray, for though God knows the troubles and desires of our hearts, He will not work unless we ask Him to.  Think about a human relationship; your friend is so exhausted with all of her responsibilities in school, and work, possibly in her family, and she does not have any down time for herself.  You want to help her in some way, but you know that she would rather stay independent and work on her own.  All the while, your friend is telling you all these woes and stresses thinking, "I wish she'd offer to help..."  Since she never asked, you don't help her although you know she needs it.  It's not until she asks you to help her in some way that you willingly accept the burden she's asking to share, bringing her some peace.  Make sense?

Well, recently, I have decided to take Romans 8:26 seriously, and I have asked the Holy Spirit to speak to the Lord through me on my behalf... Wasn't sure how that was going to work... As I sat there praying, though, I felt these words come into my mouth, into my mind, that were the exact things I was trying to think of saying!  As if with a different voice, I heard the words I needed to say come so perfectly, only in a way that I would have never worded, words that were not my own but said exactly what I could not seem to think of.  And I know for a fact that the Holy Spirit was working in my favor before the Lord.  I can see Him truly working with my request based on how the words I have spoken effect the situation!  What an amazing God!  I wish every human being could experience such love and peace!  I wish Christian would swallow their pride and actually understand who God really is and long to live for Him!  But this brings me to the effect of fashion...

Fashion

Fashion is what we see when we want to impress people.  Often times, fashion leaks into our so-called "Spiritual lives" and that's when the Message gets confused.  We start thinking that showing up at church and praying before meals means that we are going along with the whole 'religion' thing.  Well.  You're right.  Going to church is a part of religion.  Praying before meals is a part of religion.  Going to Sunday school is a part of religion.  Reading and owning a Bible is religion.  Sermons on Sunday morning is part of religion.  This is truly religion, you are correct, and if you take part in these things 'religiously' then you are definitely a religious person!  Yay for you!  That doesn't mean you know Christ and His work in your life.  That doesn't mean you have allowed God to speak to you, or rather, that you have listened to Him.  That doesn't mean you know what it;s like to be in His presence.  That doesn't make you holier than everyone else who does not do those religious things.  That does not necessarily make you a Christian, or even a better person.  While for a few people, these things all fall hand-in-hand with each other, there are many many more whose lives speak the latter reality.  Only they realize it and therefore don't believe it to be true.

Now, I am not calling out any individuals, for overall the relationship one has with God is between them and God.  However, it is evident when people follow all of those religious things and then aren't very sure how Christ fits in to all of that.

"It's better to be hated for what you are,
then loved for what you're not."
-Kurt Cobain

Christianity, the religion, has become SO fashionable in our society because it makes people feel happy, look good, and earn a reputation for participating in such selfless activities.  The misleading point comes when you look at how not selfless these people are being with their intentions.  And this is where the rest of the Seeking world is led astray - getting to God and finding purpose is by follow rules and regulations of a Spiritual culture, and Christ might be thrown in there somewhere, probably attached to how happy life is because of Him and yet few really understand why.  When asked what God's purpose for us in life is, most would say something like, "He wants me to be happy and so He makes sure I'm happy."  The answer is, "God wants me to humble myself because of the amazing sacrifice HE made for ME!  Therefore, in everything I do - even if it leads to my death - I want the whole world to hear about the freedom I have in Christ!"  But that's above many people's heads.  So often, I hear about how happy God has made a person their whole lives and how He's never let harm come to them, He's always made life so enjoyable and wonderful.  There may have been a time or two when these people were sad, but God didn't want them to be sad, so somehow He fixed it.  I think that is wonderful to know that God is the Almighty Comforter of the mourning and weeping, and I say, "PRAISE GOD!" for that act of Love in your life!  I truly believe that is wonderful!  But have you ever really lived if all your life has ever been is happy and pleasing to you?

Selfish and happy?
Or selfless and giving the glory to God?

It's not a selfish 'religion' - if you think about it, every other religion in our known society focuses on "me," revolves around how "I" can be better, how "I" can be happy and content.  Jesus came way out of His comfort zone to talk to stubborn thieves and prostitutes who didn't seem to understand what He was talking about while He was here, got frustrated and angry at all the greedy selfishness the world displayed, was framed for doing something He never did, had His skin ripped apart and His clothes gambled off in humor as He lay there bleeding, and then got His hands and feet nailed to a plank of wood as people beneath Him mocked Him and spat on his bloody wounds.  THIS is the reason we are Christians.  Not so that we can be happy.  Jesus' purpose here was to show us how to really love another person without expecting anything in return.  He taught us countless times how to pray and how to truly please God without offerings.  He taught us what life is supposed to be about - God, others.  Not anything to do with us.  Jesus Christ taught us to forget about anything to do with ourselves and what makes us happy so that we can live for HIM and serve OTHERS.  NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH US.  That is holiness.  That is God's purpose for our lives.  Our 'religion' is about something other than ourselves - unlike every other faith in this world.  Christ was selfless in hopes that we too would be selfless.  Not selfish.  Why don't we get that, people!?

His example: serving others.

Christ-ian translates to "Christ-like" or "little Christ" and was originally meant as mockery of those who followed the teachings of Christ.  As we have adopted the name as truth in our lives, we have lost the real reason that we were ever called Christians.  We have lost sight of God, His Will, His sacrifice, others around us, everything to do with Christ because we are more concerned with which dress will be the cutest on Easter Sunday and what gifts we will be getting on Christmas morning.  We are so caught up in all the social activity at church that we forget about Church and our purpose for going to church in the first place - communion and fellowship worshipping God as one Body of believers.  Being a Christian is about being broken people that God loves, shows mercy to, accepts just as we are, molds your life from the inside out and then uses us to show others the love and acceptance we can get from Him.

Christianity is now merely fashion in our culture.  It's something that dresses us up as good and happy people and nothing more.  We can't bare the thought of being looked down upon by the world to give God glory.  And most don't even understand what that means.  We have nothing to do with selfishness, nothing to do with legalism, nothing to do with mere socialite activities for good reputation.  My hope and prayer is that the effects of God in this world through who really know Him will be enough to reach everyone wrapped up in the effects of fashion.  Nothing is more disheartening to me than someone who has never truly met God right where they're at.  Take seriously the calling we give ourselves when we claim the name of Christ-like.  Christian is not who we are intended to be, Christ followers are who we are based on the love, mercy, and sacrifice Christ taught us through His life, words, and examples.  Don't be ashamed of that!  And don't let our lovely fashionable Christianity control you.

The Craft Room Is Opened!!

After a long wait of anticipation on my part, I have officially opened my craft blog I call The Craft Room!

The first week (08/06/2012) went really well in reception and I look forward to posting more crafty things in the coming future!  Throughout the semester, I have begun DIY projects by myself and with my fiance that I will take you through step-by-step on how to do them yourself!

I hope that, through this blog, I can inspire many others to take a crafy approach on life!  Keep in touch with my blog and don't be afraid to try these things yourself!

The Craft Room

Updates On My Life

  Well I have not posted anything on my blog in quite a while (as in about a week or so) - that's too long for me, and I have missed it!  I wanted to give a few updates on what is happening in my life and why I have been so busy!

Work Life

I have been working at Sonoco since December as a temp and I have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated my time here!  It has been such a blessing working where I this whole time and I have been able to take care of myself in multiple ways.  This Friday, however, will be my last day here in preparation for returning to school and also preparing for marriage!In trying to take care of everything below at the same time as working 40hour weeks right now... I have had a lot of pressure on myself to make sure everything gets done and taken care of.

Home Life

We have a month-old litter of adorable kittens, there were four of them.  However, one of our older cats died outside without a real understanding as to why.  Then one of our older kittens died without explanation.  Then we lost two of our baby kittens without a reason... We are thinking that they must have gotten to some of the chemicals the farmers have been putting on their fields next door and they are being poisoned and dying :(  It makes me really sad because I love all of our cats and kittens... If you wonder why we have so many felines, it's because we live in the country and have six acres of land, surrounded by three different crop fields (easily 7 football fields completely) and about two acres of woods.  We have a good variety of woodland creatures, including mice, huge rats, and snakes.  Cats are our defense against these icky things from crawling into our house.

Also, mom has been in need of some medical attention with an injury to her knee she has acquired from yardwork, as well as some surgery that she is recovering quickly from.  Being the eldest child, and the only other adult in the house, I have been rushing around taking care of everything she can't.  Please keep her health and recovery in your prayers.

School

In the past few weeks, I have become a packing nazi, trying to get everything organized into boxes and bags in an orderly fashion.  I have everything div-ied up according to whose car it will be traveling in: mine or Frank's.  At the current moment, it looks like my room is a wreck because of everything stacked on one side, but it will be gone next weekend!

At the current moment, I don;t know if I will have two roommates or one this semester... The plan was this: my first roommate (and great friend) Alyssa was going to be my roommate again this year in a three room dorm.  Our third roommate, Sarah (who is also a good friend) was going to be going on internship to India.  Now Sarah is not going to India, but I don't know if she'll be coming back to room wth us, or if she'll be going somewhere else...  Either way, I am fine with it and I'm excited to be in an air conitioned room where I can determine my own sleep schedule!!!!!

I am looking forward to going back to school, but financial things are starting to slide from stable to ...how did someone forget to tell me this?  I'm wondering more and more if God has something planned for me besides college.  I really want to be able to go and finish school very soon, but I amlearning to understand that the human view of success is finishing college; God's view of success is carrying out His Will all my life - He doesn't need me to have a degree to do that ;)  I guess we'll see where God leads!

Blog Life

I have always been crafty and I have always loved music (ask my annoyed roommates).  In honor of the gifts and talents God has given me, I have created two new blogs: The Mezzanine and The Craft Room.  I have been working fervently on both of them to get some posts prepared for the Fall semester since I doubt I will have much time to create one along the way.  So instead of paying attention to This blog (Fly From The Highest Swing), I have been working on construction of other ones to come!

Be on the lookout for them and please enjoy them - they are a lot more work than this one has been and it's really encouraging to see pageviews go up!!

Frank Life

Frank and I have been having a hard time getting things and plans for our wedding taken care of since we are not constantly together to work on them.  We are undecided at the moment as to whether we will be sending out save the dates, and also when to start the next step!  These are things that we planned for, but it's hard to get them to fall in to place when you're an hour and a half away for three weeks at a time! :s

However, I am looking forward to January when we are planned to wed!  And I love him more than I did yesterday :)  We have already started pre-marital counselling with our friend and college pastor, Josh, and we will be starting pre-marital counselling with his grandpa soon - he is going to be marrying us...

Spiritual Life

Lighthouse Bible Study has ended, it ended last night.  I have an entire summer's worth of Bible lessons from the book of James and it feels so good to have gotten it all done!  I have learned not to expect ministry to go the way I plan my lessons, but accept the fact that God is in control - not me!  Along with encouraging the group to pray and know God more, I have also felt the Holy Spirit telling me the same thing.  At one point, I lost Bible for two weeks. Accepting the fact that I was clinging on to the material of the Bible, rather than the Word, I realized that God may have given my Bible to someone who needed Him.  That's when I found it :) Then it got run over by a few semi trucks the next day... Satan was really after me, but he did not defeat me.  And now God's strength has shown through that time!! 

The Future?

I don't know entirely what my future holds, except that I will be getting married to Frank in January and I am called to the missions fields of Sweden!  Past that, everything is up in the air, and I am - contrary to regular Jessica - okay with knowing that.  If I end up going a completely different direction in this menial world, it's going to be judged by other humans, and I will be pur down and talked about.  But I know that following God is more important than following sneers.  And I'm okay with that :)

So that is the basic run-down update of my life, and I look forward to posting another one soon!!  It will more than likely be another blog about the political crap in America because of some things NPR has revealed to me on accident recently.  I'll let you know when that one comes about!! :)

The Craft Room: Coming Soon!

I have created a separate blog titled "The Craft Room" for all of my crafts and DIY tutorials.  Although I still plan on using my current blog as an outlet for life through writing (typing), The Craft Room will specifically be an outlet for my crafty side to share.

The blog will include weekly craft tutorials in areas of:

• repurposing
• refurbishing
• upcycling
• re-styling
• recipes and cooking
• decorating
• and craft inspiration from other places and people

  Every Monday, I will post a blog about a recent craft I have made in my own time, and I will list tutorials on each craft I make so that you can also make it for yourself.  Some of the crafts you will see are ones that I have thought of on my own.  Others have been inspired by another's craftiness!  I will be sure to give recognition where credit is due. 

  At the moment, I am looking at August 6th as my first posting date.  I already have a few tutorials set up and ready to go, and I will continue posting weekly as more people become interested.  So please share my blog with your friends and family!!  I will be sure to share on this page (The Craft Room page for Fly From the Highest Swing) so that you will be updated here every time I post a new article in The Craft Room.  My current blog (Fly From the Highest Swing) will still remain available for everything else in my life - so you can stay tuned!

  Thanks for the support everyone has given me through your viewing and moral support of my talent in actual life.  I hope you look forward to doing some crafts as much as I look forward to sharing my talent!

The Craft Room page on Fly From the Highest Swing

Playlist and Featured Artist: Matrimony

Starting today, every other Monday, I'll add a post featuring an artist you may or may not have heard of, followed by a Jessica-made playlist based on the cool sounds of the featured artist.  They will be called "Music for the week" maybe...

So kicking off today's Music of the Week!

Matrimony

Our featured artist hails from Charlotte, North Carolina.  The oddball group calls themselves Matrimony, based off of the co-front people, Jimmy and Ashlee Hardee Brown.  Also in the group are Ashlee's brothers, Jordan and CJ, as well as friends Alex Watson and Shae Wooten.  Together since 2009 as the duo, Matrimony has traveled all over the Southeast  sharing their folktone music.  Jimmy Brown is straight out of Ireland, and adds his homeland Irish flair in vocals and instrumentation.  Overall, Matrimony is an energetic and enthusiastic folk band from the Southeast, anyone who matches those characteristics would enjoy a listen to them.  The featured song to give you a taste of the group is below, titled, "Obey Your Guns" -

Like them?  Check out their website at http://matrimonyband.bandcamp.com/ - the song you just heard is a free mP3 download!  Or you can follow their blog at http://matrimonyband.blogspot.com/!

To keep in the Matrimony-style spirit this week, my playlist for the week is as follows:

1. Obey Your Guns by Matrimony - FREE DOWNLOAD!
2. Shallow Grave by Tallest Man On Earth
3. Emmylou by First Aid Kit
4. It's Time by Imagine Dragons
5. The Light Is You by Said the Whale
6. Little Lie by Lindi Ortega
7. The Eye and the Storm by Matrimony
8. If I Ever Leave This World Alive by Flogging Molly
9. Ireland's Call by Celtic Thunder

Thanks for listening this week!  Some of these songs are very catchy, so enjoy them this week, and feel free to dance!  The weekly playlist will vary in length from week-to-week depending on what music sounds best together.  As I said first, this will be bi-weekly.  What will fill the space in-between for the meantime?  I will be opening The Craft Room before the start of school in August ;)  Bi-weekly, you will either get a featured artist and playlist, or will find inspiration in upcycling old materials and being crafty with things you may not ever think of!  Be on the lookout for the links to my craft posts!

Google+ ...

In trying to set up a few tutorials (later to be posted) using Picasa, I accidentally signed up for Google+ without knowing it...

I have used Picasa for a long time now, but never have I thought to upload them to a web album - that may be a good idea, right?  Well especially since I was having such a hard time uploading photos from my computer to my blogs, I decided now would be a good time.

Well...

A certain question box kept coming up that didn't appear to have an "x" to "x" out of it with, and I tried clicking on the gray area around it to make it disappear, but nothing changed so I figured it must be something I need to do to set up a web album in Picasa.  I went along with it... The strange thing was, I had to re-enter my password and upload a picture of myself (which I did not) and all sorts of stuff like I was signing up for an account.  I thought that I might have been, but it wasn't until I was done when I was welcomed with something saying Google+ on it, and I was told that I was a new member of the Google+ family or whatever.

I was pissed.  Needless to say.

I didn't want a Google+ account!  It's a knock off of Facebook, and I have thought this whole time that it's a lame idea!  I did not want a Google+ account.  Did not.

So I started trying to figure out how to delete my Google+ account without deleting my gmail or Picasa accounts - that would be bad.  I figured out how via other people on the internet asking the same questions, and I followed the steps as they displayed.

Easy.

Well as I was reading the things Google would delete for me, and what I was going to be able to keep, I heard a voice in the back of my mind saying, "Give it a chance, it might not be that bad, and no one says you actually have to use it..."

So....

I gave in to that little voice.  I will give this dumb idea a chance and keep you update4d on whether it's worth it or not to try.  I really don't want to, but why not?  I at least know where the delete button is if ever I need it.  I have a feeling it will be one of those things that isn't all that bad because you get news from it or something like that, but you don't use but maybe once or twice a week to read that news.

I don't know.

So keep a lookout for my upcoming tutorials on DIY projects, and also look out for my response to this darn Google+ stuff - I might change my mind about it.

To Truly Know God - Hebrews 6:1

"So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again.  Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding."  - Hebrews 6:1, NLT

Simply said. 

I often feel that when I listen to certain pastors speak, or when I, myself, am speaking to a crowd for the sake of God, I repeat the basics over and over again.  Recently, I thought about why I did this, and I realized that it's because I have a passion for people to truly understand and be amazed by the love God has for us, for them to be moved by His calling on our lives!  But I feel that our cultural Christianity is filled with so much generic content that most of our population only knows about.  They don't have anything further than that...

There is a difference between knowing God and knowing about God.  Often times, people get the two mixed up - or worse, combine them as being one in the same.  They are definitely not the same.

At times, it is hard for me to not repeat myself on issues like, "God is against [this]" or "what does [this] mean" as well as the more encouraging things like "Jesus loves you" and Jesus saves you."  A lot of people would say, 'that's not a bad thing' - which I'm not saying it is.  While these things I often say are truths in our faith, these same people are missing is the fact that we are all called to radical living under the influence of the Holy Spirit.  We are called to a life that is worship for God and brings glory to Him in every way.  We are not called to a life of generic responses and half-hearted prayer and worship once a week. 

You may have heard it said: Going to church does not make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.  I love that phrase for the comic relief it halos over the serious and honest undertone.  So many people go to church on Sunday mornings; they bow their head when the pastor prays, they sing along to whatever song is playing, and they are involved in a Sunday School group.  So few of those people actually have a true relationship with God.  The generic impression most people have in their minds is this: if I believe in God and know that Christ died to save me, I am in a relationship with God and I am going to heaven."  That is the 'truth' so to speak, but that mindset does not quite cut the picture of a relationship God had in mind. 

Imagine this:

There is a party hosted with a good number of people - most of whom you don't know.  You go to this party with your spouse and kids and meet the host there, one of those you have never met.  "Hi my name is [your name here]," as you shake hands with the host.  The host smiles, shaking your hand and replies, "I know who you are, I'm glad you came!"  Loosening your grip on the hand shake, you smile again at the host and say, "Thank you for inviting me.  This is my spouse, and these are my children," as you gesture towards your family.  The host again replies, "Yes, I know! I know each of you individually, and I am so glad you are here!  We should consider talking regularly and get to know one another really well!"  You agree saying, "Sure, sure!  That sounds great," and noticing the other people invited you say to the host, "Well we'll go ahead and see who esle is here and maybe make friends with some of these others."  Understanding, the host smiles and say, "Sure thing, enjoy your time here - but please find me again so we can talk more."  

You and your family disperse into the crowd of people and meet some who are like you; the ones you are most fond of are involved in the same sports that you like, listen to the same music, maybe even have the same habits.  As you get to know people, you make plans with them to get together outside of the party, and exchange numbers.  When the party is over you leave, and you think you faintly hear the host calling out to you saying, "I'm glad you came, [your name]! Come back soon!"

For weeks and weeks to follow, you and your family are invited back to parties hosted by the same man as the first.  All the same people are invited too, some of them are now your friends so you're really looking forward to it.  However, as you come more often, you talk less to the host than when you first met him.  Instead, you and your family immediately find the friends you have made with the other party guests and talk the night away until it is time to leave.  You can see the host from across the room, and a time or two you see him waving you to come over.  Those times he tried to get your attention, you were in the middle of some important conversations so you gestured for him to wait just a minute.  However, when you finish talking to one person, you forget about the host and go to the next conversation ready for you to jump into. 

At the end of this night's party, you remember that you have come to these parties for months now and haven't talked to the host since the first time you came.  You walk over to him and say, "Thanks for inviting me to all of these parties, by the way, I'm really getting to know some great people."  The host smiles and says, "I'm glad you have been coming.  But my purpose of inviting you each time was so that you can get to know me more since I already know you so well.  Why have you been avoiding me?" 

Befuddled by this response, you reply, "In meeting these great people, we have been able to get to know each other and make plans to spend time together.  You are one of the reasons we met, and you are something that we all have in common - you invite us to your parties every time. We even talk about you when we get together!"  Although still understanding, the host says, "You are missing the point, [your name here], I invited you here - I invited you all here - because I wanted you all to get to know me, and make plans with me, and spend time with me as well as  with each other.  However, no one has really said much to me, or tried to make plans with me, or even spent much time with me the entire time you all have been coming.  I'm glad that you are here, and I am glad you all share a common interest in me, but what I really want is for you to know me."


This is what MOST of our Church looks like today.  We share the common interest of Christ with those we go to church with.  We make plans with those people and really spend time getting to know those people, and God seems to stay at a distance even though we think that there is nothing wrong.  We are stuck in the baby steps of our faith and we do not progress any further because we think that baby steps is all it takes.

So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ over and over and over again.  Let's stopped meandering in the same generic phrases we learn as kids and teach our children.  Yes, they are very important and crucial to our understanding of God and our relationship with Him, but we are to not only say them, but understand them, and grow in their meaning.  Jesus loves me.  Yes He does, but why?  Do you really understand the depth of His love?  Can you fathom the meaning of His sacrifice and what it meant for our relationship with God?  Does His love move you to share with others everywhere and leave behind the menial human-made purposes of life?  Does the love He have for you make you want to praise Him even more with teaars in your eyes, wondering why He would ever love someone like you?

This time will come at some point in most of our lives - some sooner than others.  It is hard for me to not want to rush through that time of growth and getting there because I really really really really really want to share this very feeling that I have with everyone I meet.  However, rushed timing is not God's timing.  Procrastination is not God's timing.  Waiting on God is God's timing - and He has always been faithful. 

Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding of God's love for us, the salvation Christ has paid for, the truth that should change the very way we live, and the meaning of a true relationship with God.  Once we have come to the place with God where we can really realize the depths of these things, we are able to come into a true relationship with God, not just a right one.  From there, God has the power to grow us and change us from the inside out as we learn to praise Him from the inside out.  This peace surpasses any relationship we could ever find on earth and it is the only peace and beauty we should find ourselves falling for.  We, as a body of believers, need to start taking seriously the reason we exist; we need to allow God truly come into our lives and start preparing us for maturity in Him.

©2011



People and Panic Attacks

  I have dealt with anxiety disorder since I was around the age of 12 when I experienced my first panic attack.  I remember it very clearly; walking into the dining room, suddenly feeling light-headed and weak thinking that my blood sugar had dropped so I should get something to eat.  Suddenly, I felt the urge to cry and I had no reason to do so.  I then began feeling a little depressed and a little scared and my chest tightened as I knelt down, still feeling a bit weak.  I began to breathe uncontrollably and tears came out of my eyes as I gasped for breath.

  Slowly, I lost feeling in my hands and feet, then my arms and legs, and I fell over from my kneeling position.  I was shaking and I was a bit scared, not understanding what was happening.  I tried to get myself back up, but I felt immobile; my limbs wouldn't move and I felt so heavy.  I wanted to call for someone to come get me, but it was so hard for me to speak.  I started thinking the worst, that maybe I was having a seizure, or a heart attack, or worse.

  This went on for a good 15 minutes until I started to calm down, realizing that I was okay.  I felt very weak and I could feel muscles in my lips and face and limbs spasming a little.  I was still shaking, but my breathing was starting to slow down.  After a few minutes, I started to get feeling back into my hands and legs, but I still felt too weak to move, even though I did not feel as heavy as I did just a few minutes before.  I lay there for a few more minutes wondering what on earth just happened, my face still wet with tears.

  That was the first time I experienced a panic attack.  Since then, I have dealt with these suckers regularly.  There have been times in high school where I would have them multiple times a week for months.  At other times in my life, I would go months without having one, only for one to sneak up on me without a reason.  Luckily, there have been a few people I can trust that have been able to sit by me while those happen and help me recover quicker than usual.  There is a way to help people who have panic attacks - regularly or not - and even though they are not life threatening, it is important for someone to be there for the person who needs help.

  More people today suffer from anxiety disorder like I do.  Some other may not have the actual disorder, but have experienced a panic attack before.  It's a frightening experience when you don't know what is going on.  You may have heard people describing an attack as a feeling of dying.  Well like I said, I can assure you that a panic attack has never led to someone's death.  However, for those of you who have experienced a panic attack before, and for those of you who might be around when someone has one,  you may or may not know the signs, or what to do to help.  Here, I will explain some basic pointers on how to recognize what is happening and what you can do for yourself to stay calm.  I will also inform you on how you help somebody else when they are experiencing a panic attack - all are very simple.

  Panic attacks are caused by a broad range of things, from depression to smelling a flower.  These are most reasons why an individual might have a panic attack:

• People who have suffered depression are more likely to have problems with a disorder such as this because of the chemical changes in the brain made from depression. 
• A constantly stressed place (maybe a rough home life, or a tense workplace, etc.) and feeling the need to release that stress and not knowing how can prompt a panic attack. 
• Chocolate and caffeine!  It sucks!  If you have the actual disorder, staying away from these things help tons!!
• Lack of sleep (proper sleep) does not help at all.  Especially if you are stressed out on a regular basis, getting at least eight (8) hours of sleep every night can reduce your chance of having sudden panic attacks.
• Unfortunately, there are times that absolutely nothing seems to prompt a panic attack - it just happens out of nowhere.  These are, without realizing it it, probably caused by something you see/smell/or hear that prompts a stressful memory that you couldn't handle, and your body goes into panic mode.

  It is important to understand that you cannot control a panic attack once it starts.  However, you can tell the warning signs for when one might be coming.  Here are some ways you may feel right before a panic attack occurs, and what you could do to help yourself stay calm:

• You may suddenly feel light-headed or dizzy, maybe even a little nautious.  When this happens, sit down and rest your head in your hands and try to keep you breathing steady.  Don't get back up for another 20 minutes, or however long it takes for you to feel fine again.
• For a good half hour (or maybe more) before you start feeling light-headed, you may feel extreme emotional change within yourself.  This might mean that you suddenly feel really depressed and can;t explain it, or you may feel really crabby, or get easily frustrated - a number of drastic mood changes that are all negative.  Make sure you are aware of this sudden change in your mood so that you can brace yourself (and others) for what's coming.
• Right before an attack, you may feel a bit jittering, and you may shiver lightly from feeling cold - even if you aren't cold where you are at.
• When any of these things happen, the best thing to do is to sit downn somewhere and focus on keeping calm.  Keep your breathing slow and steady, and think about positive things about yourself.

  Although you cannot necessarily prevent a panic attack, you can control its severity and longevity if you stay calm right before one comes.  When it finally comes, though, think about what you are about to expect: crying, shivering, tightening chest, tight breathing, loss of feeling in your hands and feet, and so on.  It might seem a little scary at first, but preparing yourself mentally for what is about to happen makes things a little easier.  Panic attacks usually last no longer than 20 or 30 minutes at the worst.  You will be able to tell that you are calming down because your breathing is becoming easier, your fingers and toes start tingling, your hands may feel like they are locking up, and the tightening in your chest is going away.

  When it's over and your breathing has regulated and your sensations have returned to normal, stay sitting still for a few more minutes, and try not to move too much.  When you feel that you are mobile enough to lift a glass, it is a good idea to drink some water, and also some sprite - NOTHING CAFFEINATED (you can trigger it again because it is still too soon after to have caffeine!)  For the next few hours, or maybe even the rest of the day, you may still feel just a tad weak, and you will more than likely feel tired - that is normal.  Take a nap if it is possible; if not, go to bed very early that night so that you can get the rest you need to recover.

  It is very important for you to have someone near you when all of this is happening.  It may be a bit embarrassing but, you should be safe about it more than you should worry about embarrassment.  Although panic attacks cannot kill you, you have a great possibility of falling on something that breaks a bone or cracks your skull, and so on.  You will not be able to control your mobility for some time, so anything can happen.  In the worst cases - rest assured, it is very rare - if a panic attack lasts too long and gets to be so severe, you could have a seizure.  This is so rare that you may never ever hear of this happening, but it is still possible.  For those who don't know what do to do to help, it is simple.  When you see someone having a panic attack, or someone tells you that they are, here are things you can do to hepl them:

• Help them find somewhere they can sit down.  Try to keep them sitting up, not falling forwards, or to the side - they may not be able to hold themselves up.
• Stay quiet for the most part, at least not yelling at them or talking loudly.  Instead, say encouraging things to them, reminding them of how good a person they are and letting them know that what is happening is not their fault, that everything is going to be okay.
• Whatever you do, do not leave them!  If something bad happens, make sure you have a phone nearby to call someone, or call an ambulance.
• You need to stay calm!  They are the ones panicking, and they will be just fine in a few minutes.  If you stay calm, you can help them start to feel calm too.
• When they are able to move their hands again and their breathing has slowed, ask if they want some water, or see if there are any non-caffeinated sodas around, like Sprite or Ginger Ale.  Help them take little sips as they are able to breathe regularly again.
• Even after the attack is over, stay with them and make sure they are okay.

  Being there for someone is a simple enough job.  And ultimately, how you react to their panic effects a lot in how their panic attack happens. 

  One more thing to understand is this: there is a difference between having a panic attack, having anxiety disorder, and having panic disorder.  They act as three different levels.  The most common is the panic attack.

  Anyone can have a panic attack, no matter what.  Some people might even have a handful of panic attacks throughout their life.  However, this does not mean that they have a disorder.  Panic attacks are common ways for our body to relieve stress when we don't know how. 

  A person who has consistent panic attacks - in other words, someone who experiences multiple panic attacks every couple of months or less for a long period of time - has anxiety disorder.  These people have a disorder because the chemical makeup in their brain has changed a little from some outside stress.  They experience a panic attack often enough to be able to tell and expect when they might have one.  Less people have anxiety disorder than there are people who have had panic attacks (if that makes sense).

  Someone who experiences emotional, mental, or even physical damage from recurring panic attacks has panic disorder.  While very similar to anxiety disorder, having panic attacks often on a regular basis, people who suffer from panic disorder are crippled by panic attacks.  They are emotionally unstable as they experience more panic, they can have slightly impaired thinking at times, and in the worst cases, they can have physical crippling, such as muscle growth issues, incontrollable twitching, and abnormal sweeling (as in lymph nodes).  These people also live in constant fear of having a panic attack because they have panic attacks more often thatn anyone.  Walking outside, for instance, can immediately trigger a panic attack.  This is the worst of the level of panic, and is less common than anxiety disorder, but it is still common enough to be aware of.

  If you treat yourself well by sleeping apporpriately, eating correctly, avoiding caffeine, and exercising, you reduce your risk of experiencing a panic attack to relieve stress.  However, it is possible for anyone to have a panic attack, and when it happens, it is good to understand the signs, and how to help.

©2011



Prayer In a Coffeeshop

  As of today, I have learned that I will not be receiving as much financial aid for school next year as I was promised over the past year.  It really upset me in the fact that money is the only way to get around this menial world.  If it weren't for money, we wouldn't have to worry about things like "affordable" and "debt" and there would be so much less stress on everyone as a whole.  We would have no more worry for "poor people" or third-class, there would be no more homeless, there would probably be a spike in murder and theft, but that's a cultural change, not a government change.

  Walking up to the Rooster, I felt the presence of God around me; it was like I was in a bubble looking at the world that frolics after degrading things that please man's eye.  Even now as I sit here and type in the coffee shop, I feel like everyone sitting in front of me does not realize how hopeless they are - surrounding themselves with good and rich things that are clean and hard to get.  I am not bashing on them morally, but as far as materials go, I feel that we are all the same to some extent.  Everywhere, though, it's like there's something missing and people are just oblivious...  But I can feel God right hear, surrounding everyone while they talk and eat and laugh and drink, and it's like He's sitting beside us like an old friend, but no one is paying attention...

  I asked a few of my strongest prayer warriors to pray for me today in means of needing provision and discernment for the direction I am to be going.  I will be going back to school in the Fall, by the grace of God.  I will be getting married in January.  Because of this, I will be an independent and a new rent fee will come casually into my life.  I am called to Sweden.  Frank and I are working towards a short-term missions trip to Sweden to start us out on our service in missions.

  When I talked to Frank this morning about the surface of everything going thrugh my head, he told me how he felt after his time with the Lord this morning.  Maybe this is a way God is telling us that things aren't going to go as we had originally expected.  He provided for us different opportunities to meet each other, as well as provide some experience in education and learning more about Him.  So we took for granted that this is the complete direction that we will be going in - started college, so we'll probably finish college.  That's where we become human again: things flow naturally in our world, either one way or another.  Each way life flows, we expect there to be a follow-siut.  With God, He may take the beginning of a flow and redirect it, like train tracks, and give a 'mismatched' ending to our path.  You will be accused by everyone around you of doing life 'wrong' or by making 'not-wise decisions.'  It may not always make sense.
  Maybe what we are called to is this: get a Bible certificate out of our Bible degree this year, get married, then go out into the mission field - go to Sweden.  Work at odd jobs because He will provide and take care of us.  But an encouraging word Frank said this morning was something like this: "I read an article from one of the missionaries in Sweden; he said that more missioinaries are making their way to Sweden recently (because there used to not be that many missionaries there).  At first I thought, 'great, now everone's going there and we were going to go there...' but then I realized, 'God is orchestrating this... Sweden needs Him there, and He is preparing and sending...' and I feel that maybe God is saying that we have learned enough, we need to get our Bible certificates, get married, and head to Sweden..."  And that is when the presence of God really hit me.

  I looked up, and then looked at my hands, and I told God that I trust Him.  My hope for His provision and guidance is there, and I know that He has always been faithful. 

  On my way to the Rooster, I remembered that a Sister worked at the coffeeshop and I prayed that she would be there today.  Something I am so thankful to God for is the fact that He is in so many of my friends - He uses you all in ways that you will never know, I promise.  And I felt God saying that I should talk to her, and maybe ask her to pray for me.  I wasn't sure that she'd even be there, but I said okay.  Sure enough, the first person I actually see behind the counter is my friend.  It was really busy - they had a lot of good business in the eatery, and people were sitting everywhere.  I still felt God.  So I asked my dear friend if she could pray over me... And God was still there.  Even in the rush and busy-ness of that crowded eatery, God was still there.  And it was amazing...  Now is the wait, the quiet before the storm - that is how my life feels right now.  And I was reminded by that prayer in a coffee shop that God is above all, above everything that could stand in my way.  If He has a plan for His kingdom and it is through me, then He will move mountains to make it happens.  I was reminded that He is orchestrating my life, and He installs His teachings through many ways, and introduces me to people whom He has built for me (and others) to rely on.  And in doing so, I am relying on Him.

©2011



Students Disheartened: the Commoner's Reality on College

  College.  Is it worth it anymore? Is it a worthy investment?  Is it worth the years of burdening debt and strife?  Give me some good reasons why I should stay in college.  Give any of us any really good reason to continue pursuing a college education other than the same and lame excuse of, "it will get you places" or "you need it to get where you want to be."  Where I want to be is not stressed out with no job worrying about how I'm going to pay student loans back to investors who charge rediculous interest and won't ever leave me  alone until I'm in my retiring age.  Do you really think that's what I want? If so, I think your version of my reality is a bit scued, or at least lacking knowledge.

  Like most of the popluation my age, I am in college, aspiring to transcend my upbringing and make something of myself that is seen as worthy of respect.  According to our over-domesticated society, going to college and "getting and education" is the surest way to attain that goal.  We are pushed to our breaking point to make and keep good grades, get involved with all sorts of clubs and organizations that will bring recognition on a resume, told to start learning how to work while maintaining an academic life, and then encouraged to make sure we have a well-rounded social life.  All of this - just to get ahead of a percentage of the crowd. 

  Now what does it take to be able to participate in these "life-changing" events?  MONEY.  I cannot stand money.  As a college student, I'm sure most can relate when I say that money is the root of all evil when it comes to school (however I do understand that the verse reference says that the love of money is the root of all evil).  Yes, because of money, we get to go to school and  get a "well-rounded education" - but it is also because of that same money that we suffer a lifetime of student debt, grief while finding a job that take an over-qualified candidate, and hesitance to settle down and start a family. 

  Student loans are the primary source of financial aid for students today.  There are grants and scholarships available to those who meet certain standards, and yet those who fall just slightly below the line are the ones who need those opportunities the most.  However, all those students qualify for are student loans - and man are those are big debbie downer. 

  Decades ago, young adults were able to enroll and go to colleges and universities for a very reasonable price; think about how much you would pay for a used car off the lot - that's how much you would have to pay for a four year college, IF that.  Now, instituations will charge anywhere from between $15,000 and $70,000 per year JUST to go to school and get an education.  On top of that, there are more college students graduating each year than there are job opportunites of any sort available to them once they leave the stage.  The amount of student loan debt used by college students each year are higher than the amount of credit card debt in the entire United States.  And since 1978, college tuition has gone up by over 900%!  That is rediculous!  What exactly do college institutions need that much money for?  Sure, you need to pay professors, and keep up your landscape, and kind of pay attention to the rooming facilities, but that much?????? For real?????? 

  This is unfortunately the reality I have to look at.  My parents cannot help me in any way, and because of certain family situations, I do not qualify for as much government aid as I possibly could.  My lifeline to college is this: if grants and scholarships can't pay for my $26,000 tuition fee, then I have to figure out a way to take care of it.  What is that way, you might ask? Student loans.  Why is it that in the three years I have been in college, tuition at my own school has gone up three different times?  Because the Board of my school decided to make some "great" changes and decisions that MOST of our student popluation were against.  Because these "wonderful" and "spectacular" ideas have been put into place, our tuition has gone up to help pay for it.  Really?  And it is so disheartening to learn that certain scholarships have stopped being funded because the state doesn't think that it's necessary for students to use anymore.  I have lost 2 scholarships for that exact reason.  All you hear from the state and government is that it is important for all students to attend college, and they encourage all of us to go by luring us into the freshmen year of college.  They do a really good job at making it possible for most students go for their freshmen year; after that, they kind of dump us on the side of the road and say, "Now fend for yourself," smile, and drive off.  Nobody really cares about any of us making it through all four years of school. 

  This blog is partly a rant of my own, and partly informative.  I speak from experience in the light of having to deal with the stress that money bring when it comes to school.  There is nothing wrong with going to a school that is affordable - even if it's not the flashiest school out there.  I encourage all of you soon-to-be college students to really consider the path you have in front of you.  I encourage you to follow where you are called to and work diligently once you get there so that you cannot be blamed for any disheartening circumstance you come to.  I encourage everyone else to support students you know - yes, morally, emotionally, and with prayer and petition - but consider giving financially as well.  Don't drain your pockets, but words of 'good luck' only go so far when the people you bid luck to fall into a whirlwind of mental and emotional stress from the unknown of what college is really all about. 

  If you would like to read complete statistics about college tuition and education, you can read this blog - it is very informative and adds to my point.  Understand that I am not trying to encourage by-passing college as an option in life, nor am I encouraging anyone to quit it.  I am not quitting, I'm hanging in there.  But I do encourage everyone to seriously consider whether what they're doing is worth all the money, burden and stress we'll have to deal with to pursue it.  Our economy is not getting any better, and all of the crap from this recession is going to be falling into the hands of our generation - are you willing to take the less traveled route? Or are you willing to take the more complicated route? Tricky choice.

©2011